Preparing an Obituary and Funeral Service; Part 3 of 3

You might want to include a brief Christian message on the gravestone. A Bible verse or line from a Christian poem or saying. It can be a testimony to those who pass through the cemetery in coming years. But don’t try to imply someone was a Christian when they weren’t; a grave marker is not going to get the deceased into Heaven! 

What about cremation? I don’t like cremation. While the Bible does not directly speak against it, Christian history and tradition certainly favors a respectful burial rather than cremation. Scripture speaks of burial, and says nothing of Christian cremation.  Also, the grave marker can be a Christian witness in the years to come. The time of the death and of the funeral, however, is not time to debate this issue. At this time, if the family has chosen cremation, nothing negative about it should be said.  

Possible Verses To Include On Gravestone:

A gravestone can be a Christian witness for years to come. Below are some possible Scriptures and messages to put on a marker. Some of these can be abbreviated. These Bible verses give what the Bible teaches about death for the Christian. Of course, these verses and saying are not exhaustive.

I am the way, the truth and the life. -Jesus Christ; John 14:6

Absent from the body, present with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:8)

“I am the resurrection and the life.” -Jesus; John 11:25

“He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.” -Jesus; John 11:25

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -Psalm 73:26

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” -John 3:16

“He who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life.” -Jesus Christ; John 5:24

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. -Psalm 23

I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. -Psalm 23

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. -Psalm 23

“To live is Christ, to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

The last enemy that will be destroyed is death. -1 Corinthians 15:26

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.  -Acts 16:31

Our citizenship is in heaven. -Philippians 3:20

Other Quotes:
There’s a land that is fairer than day.

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible, tells me so.

Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe.

What a Friend we have in Jesus.

I was a guilty sinner, but Jesus died for me.

Only a sinner saved by grace.

Admit a ransomed sinner, for Jesus died for me.

Dust thou art, to dust returnest, was not spoken of the soul. -Longfellow.

There never was night that had no morn.

What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see.

Other Bible Verses:
Matthew 11:28; John 14:1-6; 2 Timothy 1:12; Psalm 17:15; 31:19; 32:10; 37:18; 37:37; 48:14; 49:15; Romans 6:23; 8:28; 8:35-39; 10;9-10,13; 1 Corinthians 15:51-52; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; 5:9-10; Revelation 21:4; etc.

Some just put the Scripture reference (for example: 2 Timothy 1:12). If someone wants to know what it says, they will have to get a Bible and look it up.

-David R. Brumbelow, Gulf Coast Pastor, February 29, AD 2012. 


Other Articles:
Preparing an Obituary and Funeral Service; Part 1 
Preparing an Obituary and Funeral Service; Part 2 of 3

Christian Message on Military Gravestone

11 Reasons to Not Drink Alcohol

More articles in lower right margin.

Preparing an Obituary and Funeral Service; Part 2 of 3

Other possible comments in an Obituary(especially for a longer obituary to be distributed to just family and close friends):

1. Hobbies / Sports / special interests

2. Family

3. Favorite Bible Verse(s)

4. Salvation & Baptism. Who baptized them? Where? Who led them to the Lord?

5. Places of service in the church

6. Cause of death.

7. Favorite Hymn(s), poem, etc.

8. A favorite story or two, humorous or serious, about the person.

9. Pall Bearers

A photo copy on good paper of a newspaper obituary will last longer than the paper (newsprint) from the newspaper. Always include newspaper name, city & state, date.

Don’t spend extravagantly. Just have a nice, respectful funeral. Always have a Christian message and music (2 or 3 hymns) at the funeral. You may want a hymn to play before the beginning of the Memorial Service or during the Recessional. 

Print obituary information and order of service (bulletin) to hand out at the funeral. Include an appropriate Bible verse or two. Much of this could also be done ahead of time. 

Good Funeral Songs:
Jesus Paid It All, My Savior First Of All/I Shall Know Him, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, Abide With Me, He The Pearly Gates Will Open, Sweet By And By, Beyond The Sunset, What A Friend We Have In Jesus, Beulah Land/Squire Parsons, The Son Will Still Be Shining In Glory Land/Parsons, Face To Face With Christ My Savior, Victory In Jesus, How Great Thou Art, Because He Lives, Only A Sinner Saved by Grace/Gray, Sheltered In The Arms Of God, Rock Of Ages, Going Home/Gaither, Farther Along, Never Grow Old, When We All Get To Heaven, Amazing Grace, When We See Christ/It Will Be Worth It All, My Latest Sun Is Sinking Fast/O Come Angel Band; Saved By Grace/I Shall See Him Face To Face; I Will Rise. 

You may have to look in old Hymnals to find some of these songs. The Funeral Home or your church may have them. You may also find them at cyberhymnal.org or itunes.
Good recorded music by Tennessee Ernie Ford, Gaither Trio, Marion Warren, George Beverly Shea, Guy Penrod, and many others. 

Really, most any good Christian Hymn or Song would be appropriate at a funeral service. Most any song in the Baptist Hymnal (LifeWay, 2008) would be appropriate.

General Order of a Baptist or Christian Funeral Service: 
1. Hymn 
2. Obituary, Scripture & Prayer 
3. Hymn 
4. Funeral Message, Closing Prayer 
5. Recessional

If you have more than one minister officiating, have one bring the memorial / funeral sermon, the other give the Obituary, Scripture and Prayer. 

My funeral sermons are brief, about eight or ten minutes. Unless it is an unusual situation, the service should be short, a total of about 30 minutes or less. 

Hymns or photos can also be played just before, and / or just after the memorial service.

What do you pay the preacher? That depends on how far he has traveled, and what you can afford. Keep in mind you have paid the funeral home, so if you can, give a worthy honorarium to the pastor. If you are not a preacher, you will never know the emotional and spiritual strain put on a preacher in a funeral service; believe me, he earns whatever you may pay him. If you can’t afford it, tell him and he will understand; I never expect to be paid for preaching a funeral service, but appreciate it when they do. Nowadays preachers are often paid $100 or more, if the family can afford it.

If you are expecting the funeral home to pay the preacher, ask the preacher later if he was paid; the preacher will not come to you about it. I’ve seen a couple of funeral homes that told the family they would give an honorarium to the preacher, yet never did.

If requested, after the funeral many churches are glad to provide a meal at the church for the family. Providing a meal after the funeral is a great ministry to the family and friends. It provides a great way for the cooks and those who serve to use their gifts. The older I get, the more impressed I am with this ministry.

I sometimes copy the obituary, include the church name and address and a couple of appropriate Bible verses, and make photo copies available to the family at this funeral meal.  It may also include a detail or two the obituary left out.  Many appreciate having extra copies to keep or send to family.  It also leaves a Christian witness. 

-David R. Brumbelow, Gulf Coast Pastor, February 27, AD 2012.

Part 2 of 3

Other Articles:
Preparing an Obituary and Funeral Service; Part 1
Saint Patrick of Ireland
Other articles in lower right margin.
　

Preparing an Obituary and Funeral Service; Part 1

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. -Psalm 116:15 

Several years ago I led our church is a study on Wednesday nights on “Preparing an Obituary.” It was very well received. It gave me the opportunity to teach a few things I’ve learned through my years of pastoring a Baptist church and preaching a number of funerals. It even gave the opportunity to laugh at ourselves and others when that couldn’t be done at the time of a funeral. It can be good to discuss a matter before you’re too emotionally involved. So this series of articles covers some of these issues.

Many have never considered writing an obituary until someone unexpectedly dies. They then have very little time to gather their information and often important information is neglected.

Much of this can be done ahead of time.

When the time comes, you will want to get this information as soon as possible to the Funeral Home, newspapers, etc.

Keep this information in an easy to find place. Make a couple of copies to give to other family members.

Do not write in all italics or all capitals; this makes it difficult to read.

After the funeral, keep copies of obituary for historical reasons. Always include or add name of newspaper, city, state, and date of newspaper obituary.

Keep the basic newspaper obituary fairly brief. Make it too long and people just stop reading.

Make things plain and easy to understand. Assume that many who read it will not know inside information with which you may be familiar. Make it so someone who never knew the deceased will understand the facts and details. Write in such a way that someone will understand if they read the obituary 100 years in the future.

You may want to make a more extensive obituary to just distribute to close family and friends. In this, include as much more information as you like to keep for a family history. You could also send this to a local historical library, etc. You may want to post it on a genealogy site on the internet.

Basics of an Obituary
Include the following if applicable:

1. Full Name:

2. Nickname, name, or initials they went by; in quotation marks or parenthesis.

3. Maiden Name:

4. Residence: (city, town, county, state)

5. Date of Birth: (month, day, full year)

6. Place of Birth: (town, state, county, country)

7. Date of Death: (month, day, full year)

8. Place of Death: (city, town, state)

9. Age:

10. Where they lived.

11. Place of Funeral Service:

12. Date of Funeral Service:

13. Time of Service:

14. Interment: (Burial site. Include town or county, state)

15. Officiating Minister / Clergyman (full name, title, church, city.)

16. Church Affiliation (complete name and mailing address of church; some may want to send a memorial donation.)

17. Occupation

18. Military

19. Affiliations / Education / Accomplishments

20. Preceded in Death: (parents, spouse, children, siblings)

21. Survived By: (name & residence: parents, spouse, children, siblings; grand children, nieces, nephews, etc. You may choose to just include the number of great grandchildren, etc.)

22. Arrangements by what Funeral Home (name, city, state)

23. Visitation: (Place, date, times; usually the evening before the funeral.)

24. Have a photo ready for newspapers, etc. Write name, address, dates on back of photo so those who did not know him will know who it is.

As soon as possible, contact those you wish to participate in the Memorial Service. Don’t expect the pastor and others to automatically know you want them; ask them. This way they can also inform you early, if they have a conflict with the time of the funeral service. 

If the deceased was a preacher, missionary, church staff, make sure you send the information to your Baptist State Paper and any schools from which they graduated. Ask them to publish it in the appropriate column. In addition, you may want to have the obituary published in newspapers where they were born or formerly lived.

-David R. Brumbelow, Gulf Coast Pastor, February 7, AD 2012.

To be continued. 

Other Articles:
Preparing an Obituary and Funeral Service; Part 2 of 3
Preparing an Obituary and Funeral Service; Part 3 of 3
More articles in lower right margin.